Smurfing up the stats

Things have been ridiculously busy, and my final year of undergrad is flying by like its pants are on fire. I've been tied up with class, starting applications to graduate school and contacting potential advisors, and research. The field and lab part of my research is gone till January break, but there is always plenty of the other half: organising data and analysing data and writing, writing, writing.

Scuba Smurf is a little sad about being out of the water this long (as am I) but he is keeping me company as I try to run statistical routines that I am unfamiliar with, on software that I am fairly new to. And because I am working through it slowly and over long periods of time, I came up with another work song...


The Variances Song
(To the tune of 当我们都在一起 aka 'The More We Get Together')

What's wrong with my variances, my variances, my variances
What's wrong with my variances, they are unequal
Transformations are futile
Rank-sum tests lack power
And so to fix the variances
I tried GLMs*


* and by GLM, I mean a generalised linear model, not a general linear model